The word "Fuck"

Listen to the audio version of this:
Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck". Out of all of the English words that begin with letter F, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the F-word. It's the one magical word; just by it's sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as the most words in the English languages, is derived from German, the word "fricken" which means to strike. In English, fuck fall into many grammatical categories.
As you must realize there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck. As in these examples describing situations such as:
Fraud
I got fucked at the used car lot!
Dismay
Aw, fuck it!
Trouble
I guess I'm really fucked now.
Aggression
Don't fuck with me, buddy!
Difficulty
I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry
Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction
I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetence
He's a fuck off.
Dismissal
Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?
I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly: "FUCK YOU!!!"
 

This audio sketch about the proper usage of the word "fuck" is often falsely attributed to Monty Python or George Carlin. It is a historical recording by the "Voice of Disneyland", Jack Wagner. (Please see THIS THREAD ("Voicedude", in particular), which provides a level of detail not found anywhere else.